How to get kids to clean their room—Fast!

So this one day... I suppose it was about five or six years ago, I'm over at my brother-in-law's place. His girlfriend gets home from work, stops in to see the kids, and flips the hell out because their room is a pig sty, and pretty much reacts like the mom in the cartoon on the right—except this is the Deep South, so it was followed by some threat that is somewhat less than the reverse bear trap from the Saw films (but not much). My nephew was too young to take her seriously or even help, but my niece was probably 4 or 5, so she starts freaking out. No way she can have it done in five minutes. Too much stuff, brother just wants to play, etc. So, being that she's my little buddy and I'm one of the few grownups besides her parents she can really trust, she turns to me for help. This is what I did:

I told her, "First, find the biggest thing that is out of place." So she looked around, kind of in a panic. I said, "Take a deep breath, take a second, and find the biggest thing that is out of place." After a few seconds, that "A-ha!" look crossed her face (if you're a parent or guardian, you know it well, their eyes light up and stuff, it's great, you want to see it a lot, and if you do this, you will), and she grabbed a teddy bear or something. I then said, "Now where does it go?" She pointed. "Well, take it there!"

We repeated this about a dozen times. Now, you know when parents say a kid has five minutes to do something, if it's not necessarily timed, like getting ready for school; what they mean is, "You better be doing it when I check in next." Being the smartass I am, I was actually shooting for five minutes. I guess I gave her about 2-2.5 minutes to find the biggest and then next biggest things, and put them away.

Of course, once the biggest thing was her brother's, she objected, and I told her that the job would get done faster with one director (me) and one worker (her) and that she would score points by taking responsibility for the whole job. She agreed. I didn't want to put down one child (e.g. saying he would slow her down) to bring up another's spirits (e.g. make it sound like she was the better worker). Instead, what I did was give one a pass to play, and the other a boost of self-confidence. Kids need a healthy dose of both, but there's a time and a place for everything.

Soon all the "big" stuff was put up. Next I asked, "Which toy box has the most stuff out?" She looked at all the little stuff on the floor, then pointed at a toy box. I held the toy box open, and told her, "Everything that goes in here, put it back." She did. They had about three or four toy boxes. One was hers, one was his, the others were shared.

Now it was about 4.5 minutes from when we all went into their bedroom. A couple things were out of place. Mostly yesterday's clothes, and a couple missed toys. So I itemized the things that were left and had her put them away. Meanwhile, I quickly made my nephew's bed, transferred him to his own bed, then made her bed. Making a kid's bed is easy. Pillow(s) to the head, blankets to the foot. Toss any toys. Fluff the pillow(s), lay out the sheet(s), then blanket(s). Tuck in the bottom corners. It doesn't have to look great. For the girl's bed, put a teddy bear in the corner, whether she sleeps with it or not. It's kind of expected.

Lastly, I walked out with both kids and said, "Five minutes, it's done." Of course they accused me of doing all the work. I admitted to helping them out by making the beds. Didn't mention holding the toy boxes open, said they did everything else.

This works because, while kids are lazy and sloppy when it comes to their toys (they seldom put the current toy they're playing with back before taking out the next toy), they do have a sense of order, and more than that, they want to impress you (their parents). But they feel their parents' expectations are way too high (often, they're right). If managed, kids can be relied upon to do small, simple tasks with relative ease and quality. Put them on a simple two-step task (find the biggest thing; put it where it belongs) and have them repeat it. Then change it up so they don't get bored. "Find the biggest one" is also kind of a game, as is "Which toy box has the most toys on the floor." It makes them think. The reward is a clean room (yes, they appreciate it) and the appreciation of the parents. And it's one they'll work for.

Of course, this won't work with every kid. The kid should be between 4 and 6, and they should like you, so it helps if you're an aunt or uncle, especially if you're that favorite aunt or uncle they flip out when they see. But once they do it, they can do it again. Cleaning a room isn't a hard task, it's just one that has a lot of steps. And of course there's always the temptation to sit and play with something before putting it away, which adds time.

As an aside, I'm concerned about kids having too many toys. As we are between the seasons of being thankful and giving, it might be an important time to teach kids about the virtues of sharing, and how some kids are less fortunate. If a kid can expect a 'good haul' on Christmas, ask them to donate toys they no longer play with to their local Salvation Army thrift store, which will sell the toys far cheaper than retail to poor families, and use the money to fund their soup kitchens and other charitable works. And the kid has fewer toys, and an easier job to clean their room.

Thanks to my Facebook friend M.M. for sharing the image I used.